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Playground
Basketball |
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 By
Junior Marx
There is a lot to the game of basketball.
Whether it's sinking a 3 point shot, or driving
to the hole for a difficult lay-up, there is
much more to the game than meets the eye.
Playing ball with four other men or women takes
endurance, stamina, and team-work. The
professionals we admire also need to demonstrate
skill, poise, and good sportsmanship. Strategy
and planning are also big factors in completing
a well played tournament.
However, from a pre-college and college sense,
things are seen differently. Playing out in the
park, Boys & Girls Club gym, or community
college court, the above attributes are not yet
important. Three other things need to be learned
prior to engaging a career with the NBA.
1. Looking GOOD
2. Showing up your opponent
3. Talking trash
This is recommend to be done in order. Talk all
the trash you want, it does you no good if your
socks are pulled up to your knees and your gym
shorts reflect the vintage '70's. Also, looking
like your Michael Jordan reborn, is no excuse
for a silent, weak game, of getting stomped by
the 5'6" rich kid from up the block. In other
words, lets start from the beginning.
1.Looking Good -- Should fit your own personal
tastes, color schemes, eye shadow...whatever
works best with hair or extracurricular
allegiance should suffice. No booty socks for
the guys, nor should your under-footwear be long
enough to reach your armpits. Men, keep in mind
your audience; you should come across as mighty,
invincible, sexy, and poetic all at once.
Likewise, women should tie their hair back to
avoid blundered steals and unsightly tripping.
Also, bear in mind YOUR audience. You need to be
sexy, able to maintain composure, and flow with
the grace of a swan, without ever perspiring.
Quite a demand on both parts, so start planning
well ahead of the tip off.
2. Showing up your opponent -- Meaning you'd
better have SOME game. Or, at the very least,
LOOK like you do. Keep up with your man or
protect your zone with your full attention.
Don't be afraid to try a steal -- look like your
making a whole hearted attempt even if you know
that a call to 911 is in the very near future.
Another thing. Call those fouls. Do not be the
one that gets steam rolled over, brushes
themselves off and limps back to there position
saying," good play." Being a dominator in the
game will prove your knowledge of such. Not to
mention -- pissing off other opponents tends to
throw off their game, making you look even more
skillful.
3. Talking trash -- The ultimate skill needed
for the game today. Without this ability, you
are lost. Your posture will collapse, your
self-esteem will diminish, your game will
suffer. You will end up looking like El Grande
Chump in front of who knows who. Run that mouth
when you make that perfect assist. Ask them what
you name is repeatedly when you rob them for The
Rock and their wallet. (Not a betting reference)
Let them know where you stand on every fouled
play and missed pass, and shun away those few
times a mistake comes your way with a typical,"
Yeah, Whatever You Say."
With that, you should be on your way. Heed the
above well, lest you be ridiculed for the rest
of your now shortened basketball career; before
it even began! I will expect nothing less, now,
from our future super hoop stars. Go now... and
win!
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